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Author Topic: Can we swap? [18/07/2590 | 4PM] || O'sir  (Read 654 times)

Offline Oarlen

Can we swap? [18/07/2590 | 4PM] || O'sir
« on: July 31, 2017, 03:41:21 PM »
“’sir?”

His mouth was dry, the odd pause that prefaced the second syllable of the candidate masters name indication enough that the young boy hadn't meant to shorten it.

He stood stiffly next to his desk, Freckles sitting next to him and humming a soft tune, swaying ever so slightly though his eyes gave away some of his bonded's distress. Sweets and Canopy were not present, though since being discharged from the healer hall a few days earlier that wasn't uncommon. Oarlen wasn’t the most viable of perches in his current state. There was still a fair amount of healing to be done, and they were instead taking care of the eggs Q'nys had provided earlier in the month.

Oarlen wasn't as courageous as he would like – a fact that had delayed this moment for longer than he was comfortable with. It made him feel dirty. That he would hesitate so much to try and help a friend. The kind of dirty no time in the bath could fix.

As it stood he was already late. He should have been there on Colvin's turnday. Should have been present to prevent the fellow candidate from making a scene. He knew he was at the mercy of the healerhall at the time, but it did little to assuage his guilt.

Colvin couldn't even look at him.

With Oriath's clutch drawing closer, O'sir had been running some of the newcomers through the classes the rest of them attended through months one and /or five, and since his injuries basically negated him from doing anything more than changing glows or similar, light tasks for short periods of time, Oarlen had spent the last few days joining in for wont of something to occupy his time... plus it gave him the opportunity to speak to O'sir... though this was the first time a sound had come out of his mouth when he tried to breach the subject.

Taking a deep breath, Oarlen tried to bring his face up so he could look his teacher in the eye. Try and show some confidence in what he wanted to say. But regardless of how successful he appeared, his voice betrayed him.

“Can- I nee- woul- “ it was as though his tongue refused to acknowledge the fate of their friend, and he found himself closing his hands to make a fist in his frustration, cursing his incompetence. He clenched his jaw, growled under his breath and tried again, the words tumbling out finally though with enough speed to basically sound like jibberish

“CanIaskaboutColvin?”

Spoiler for Hidden:
@SirAlahn does this work for you? 

Offline O'sir

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Re: Can we swap? [18/07/2590 | 4PM] || O'sir
« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2017, 11:18:46 PM »
O’sir had known this day would come. With how much he knew Oarlen had looked up to Colvin, it had to. He simply couldn’t see the whole affair ending any other way.

But that didn’t mean he exactly relished the conversation. The older boy’s ejection from Candidacy had been hanging like a shroud over his interactions with his students since it had happened, and seemed to be affecting some of them too. Some of the more mischievous were treading a little more softly around him, no doubt concerned that they would be next. And O’sir knew very well that there would be those among the remaining Candidates who thought Colvin shouldn’t have been kicked out at all. That what he’d done hadn’t been serious enough to warrant it.

Yet that hadn’t been their call to make, and O’sir saw no reason to justify it to them. He had been perfectly transparent about giving Colvin warnings, informing him of the inevitable path that his actions would take him down if he didn’t keep himself in check. So tired though the whole thing made him feel, most would see little change in him save for, perhaps, being a little more subdued. And which of his students would even notice?

Serious and strict. That was his reputation, and one that was well-earned. If they thought him cold for not publicly revealing his dissatisfaction with events, so be it.

O’sir tried hard not to ponder how Oarlen would see him after it all too. They weren’t close by any means, but the Candidate Master would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit he had a certain fondness for the boy. So young and full of hope, he reminded O’sir of his own siblings before the Pass had stolen them from him.

Each day since Colvin’s ejection, he’d expected Oarlen to approach him. And each day, he hadn’t—until this one. Half sitting on his desk as he sorted the learning materials that the students being tutored had used for the day’s lesson, O’sir saw Oarlen make his way over out of the corner of his eye. Straightening, he turned his full attention to him, and listened attentively. The fact that Oarlen couldn’t seem to reliably get the words out didn’t bode well for how this conversation was going to go.

It took him a moment to parse what finally did get blurted out, though the former Candidate’s name was unmistakable. And when he was sure he knew what Oarlen had asked, O’sir nodded. “Yes. Of course.”

He would let Oarlen drive the discussion, at least for now, and ask whatever questions he may.
« Last Edit: August 06, 2017, 11:21:45 PM by SirAlahn »

Offline Oarlen

Re: Can we swap? [18/07/2590 | 4PM] || O'sir
« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2017, 12:52:40 AM »
Oarlen nodded, swinging his arms behind his back to stop them from belying his nerves. He couldn’t muster up the courage to look O’sir in the eyes. Though it wasn’t fear, or shame that kept him from doing so, more the concern that one look would be enough to stop all questions he wanted to ask from ever being spoken. The candidate owed it to Colvin to have this conversation with O’sir, and he couldn’t let his respect for his teacher stop him from speaking up, from trying to get his head around the decision the candidate master had made and seeing if there were any way on Pern that the decision could be reversed.

He fiddled with his fingers behind his back, motions that made his injuries twinge uncomfortably but in doing so gave him something to focus on. He lifted his eyes as far as they would go, stopping on O’sir’s jaw and resting there. At least he was close to having a conversation as equals. That counted for something.

As is the way with most things, the initial question had been the hardest, and despite his cowardice, Oarlen’s tongue obeyed him when he spoke again, albeit slower, and with more deliberation than his usual  speech pattern. “What did he do?”

He had been in the healer hall still, and since Colvin himself hadn’t spoken to him since it happened, he had only heard through others about the reasons Colvin got himself kicked out… He knew it had to do with his behaviour on his nameday, however there were so many different rumours flitting about that he would much rather hear straight from the runner’s mouth.

He was looking for information, mainly. Information that wasn’t skewed by personal opinions or hearsay. O’sir was there. He was the one who passed down judgement. He was the one who could clarify the matter at hand. Oarlen wasn’t stupid. Not by a long shot. He’d known Colvin only had one chance, had spent as much time as possible trying to make sure the older candidate stayed under the radar.

He would not lie.

It hurt to know that as it stood, his friend would be unable to find his bonded in the clutches to come, but he did not hate O’sir for the decision, didn’t blame him for following through on the warning he had made months prior.

He just needed to know why.

Spoiler for OOC:
Hope that’s alright. Trying not to let OOC slip into IC but Oarlen has  a lot going on in his head. I also apologise because I think this one’s going to take a while >_> You’ll be lucky to get more than one question a post out of him because I have no idea how he’s going to react until an answer comes forth… NO PRESSURE

Offline O'sir

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Re: Can we swap? [18/07/2590 | 4PM] || O'sir
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2017, 03:10:53 PM »
That was the most natural first question, he supposed. They couldn’t very well proceed without establishing exactly what Colvin had done to finally lose his place among the Candidates. And though he did his best not to listen to the rumors that were no doubt circulating as to that very subject, O’sir knew that there had to be some. Information had that peculiar way of getting twisted around the truth, until everyone in the Weyr had heard a slightly different version of events. That Oarlen wanted to clarify the actual facts of it was not surprising.

Even so, O’sir didn’t bother to bite back the slight sigh that he breathed out through his nose. None of this was particularly easy or pleasant to talk about, but he owed it to Oarlen and any of his other students that had questions about what had happened. “He has been toeing the line of what is acceptable since accepting a Search, and it finally reached the point where I could only offer him one more chance to get his behavior in line. He failed to do so, and so I was left with no recourse but to follow through on what I had told him a few months ago. That if there was one more incident, he would be done.”

The Candidate Master let his gaze flick away for a moment before returning it to Oarlen’s face. Something about not having Oarlen look in his eyes just made him feel worse. Whether that reluctance was due to discomfort or unhappiness with him directly, he couldn’t tell.

“As to the specifics… he showed up drunk in the Weyr Hall during dinner and made a scene. It was conduct unbecoming of a rider, even a future one. Had this been the first or even second instance of his misbehaving, it would not have been so serious. But it was a trend I simply couldn’t allow to continue.”

He owed that to the hierarchy he worked for, to the rest of his students, and the future of Pern alike.

Spoiler for OOC:
No pressure indeed. :para: But in all seriousness, no worries. I don’t mind if the thread takes a little while.

Offline Oarlen

Re: Can we swap? [18/07/2590 | 4PM] || O'sir
« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2017, 06:14:30 PM »
Oarlen winced at the sound O'sir made before responding, certain he was about to get reprimanded for questioning the candidatemaster. It was an unreasonable reaction. While he may have only been a candidate for a few turns, he had never found the brownrider to be unreasonable, and he'd always been open to answering questions however silly they may seem. It was just… hard. No matter what his own thoughts were on the candidatemaster, there were enough candidates implying that his response to Colvin's antics had been unreasonable. That it signified a selfishness on O'sir's part that was unbecoming of someone in his role. The sort of person that would arc up when his motives were questioned.

And no matter how hard Oarlen tried to ignore the rumours, that little dark part of his brain that kicked him when he was down wouldn't let up. It was as much the need to connect with the caring, paternal brownrider who held his charges and the wellbeing of the weyr in the highest regard that he asked to speak to him. He needed to know they were wrong. That O'sir hadn't changed. That he was still the same old 'master that Oarlen knew.

Really though, he needn't have worried. It was the same, calm voice O'sir used when he began to explain what had happened. He nodded at the mention of Colvin's warnings. He'd been working as hard as he could to try and make sure that Colvin didn't cross that line. Ever since Colvin gave him Canopy's egg he'd wanted to try and repay him… Helping him keep his candidacy was just an aspect of that. The fact he enjoyed Colvin's company was just a bonus… not that the ex-candidate seemed inclined to continue with their friendship now that he was no longer part of their group.

His eyes widened as O'sir went on to explain exactly what Colvin had done to force his hand, meeting the candidate master's eyes a moment as he tried to ascertain whether perhaps it was an exaggeration… But O'sir didn't really exaggerate, and the solemnity of his words only served to bring that fact home. "But… everyone would have seen- The weyrwoman would have-" He breathed, the  shock from the realisation of just to what extent Colvin had overstepped sparking something closer to a normal Oarlen-ish response.

The candidate barracks itself was a rather lenient place. Had he kept it to the barracks, or even better his room, it might have been excusable… But a public display where the entire weyrleadership could see would get even the best of students in trouble.

It would have been a slap on the wrist for him.

Colvin…? Well.

"He was getting better though…?" Not an argument, just another attempt to seek clarification, though if he were being honest with himself, Oarlen would have to admit that ti was only because there'd been people stopping him from acting up. How many times had Oarlen stepped forward to clarify something Colvin said to make it seem less like a snide remark? Or defended his actions… Or picked up where he was slacking… And there were plenty others that were doing the same. Though didn't the end justify the means? As far as the rest of the weyr was concerned, Colvin was improving… Didn't that wipe the slate clean even a little?

"I could have stopped him." He lowered his gaze once more as the guilt settled in. The idea that his little ol' self could have prevented Colvin from making a fool of himself absurd if one looked at it from an outside point of view. But Oarlen was certain he could have done something. That he could have helped. Kept him in the barracks at least. Or somewhere less… public. It wasn't necessarily the truth. But logic didn't always play a part in Oarlen's beliefs, and his loyalty to Colvin skewed his perception somewhat.

Spoiler for OOC:
@SirAlahn - Sorry it took so long. I hope everything is OK.  It's been ages since I gave Oarlen attention, so I'm hoping I haven't stuffed up too much. Trying to balance the "My teacher knows best" with the "But my friend's not here anymore" is a difficult thing to do <_<; But I'm fairly happy with the result. AS always, if I need to adjust anything let me know. Otherwise, IC is IC :P

Offline O'sir

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Re: Can we swap? [18/07/2590 | 4PM] || O'sir
« Reply #5 on: February 10, 2018, 12:44:34 PM »
The fact that Oarlen reacted the way he did, so openly horrified at what Colvin had done, made at least some of the weight lift off of O’sir’s shoulders. He knew the decisions he made couldn’t always be the popular ones, and he’d made his peace with that long ago. After all, that wasn’t why he’d been granted the position in the first place. Rather, the rest of the Weyrleadership had entrusted him the responsibility of making decisions that were not easy -- and it was a task that the Brown rider took very seriously. He felt it overly dramatic to say the future of the riders rested with him:  it did just as much with the Search riders, the Weyrlingmasters that would mold them into what they needed to be, the Wingleaders and their ‘Seconds, even the Candidates themselves -- the ones who did answer the call to put their lives on the line for the rest of Pern.

Nevertheless, the Candidacy program was still the first real test of a Candidate’s worthiness. Not only their patience in waiting for their dragon, but in absorbing the lessons he could teach them and taking them to heart. Learning what it really meant to be a dragon rider long before they Impressed. So they could determine for themselves if it was the life that was right for them.

Any rider could do his job. That it had been granted to him was an honor. And O’sir was not about to insult the trust the Weyrleadership had put in him by compromising his principles, even for a Candidate he had wanted badly to see turn his life around.

His neutral expression shifted into a frown at Oarlen’s last statement. “Hey.” His voice was softer then -- gentler. “I know the two of you are friends, but none of this is your fault, Oarlen. Maybe this one instance could have been avoided, but my actions would have been the same the next time too. I didn’t give him that warning lightly, and it was his decision to ignore it.”

Posture a little less stiff, he rubbed a hand wearily over his face. “Colvin was not, and is not, your responsibility. You were a good influence on him, and maybe you still can be. But you can’t blame yourself for someone else’s mistakes. He was getting better, but I have to hold him to the same standard as everyone else. And as harsh as it may sound, his few bursts of better behavior were not soon enough, and just… not enough. I’m not about to fight any Candidate for every single centimeter. Being here is a privilege, not a right, and if it wasn’t important enough to him to grow up for, then he doesn’t deserve a chance to Impress.”

O’sir knew how that sounded: cold; unfeeling; merciless. “You know dragon riders have to be there for one another -- that’s necessary for the functioning of a Wing. And had Colvin stayed, had he Impressed, then his selfishness and petulance could have cost him his life. Or someone else’s life. Or both.” Looking down at Oarlen, he softened his words again to keep them from seeming like a dismissal. “Do you understand?”

Spoiler for OOC:
@Kyya No worries at all. <3 Your posts are lovely as always.

Offline Oarlen

Re: Can we swap? [18/07/2590 | 4PM] || O'sir
« Reply #6 on: June 30, 2018, 11:40:06 PM »
Oarlen didn't smile while O'sir spoke. This wasn't really the place for it, and his inscessant chatter that usually worked to keep his pessimism at bay was not present here. He could only listen to each word the candidate master spoke, and absorb them for what they were worth. He clenched his jaw at the idea that Colvin wasn't his responsibility, denying it despite himself, but relaxed almost instantly at the next words.

He understood what followed. Colvin was almost old enough to age out anyway... and if he hadn't changed enough already, would he do it in time for the clutch he impressed in? He wanted him too, wanted him to impress a bronze clutchbrother to his own so they could rise up through the ranks together, just like the Jungle wingseconds... but there was undeniable truth to O'sir's words.  His faltering relationship with Calladren was further proof to that.

It didn't mean Oarlen had to like it.

Like the realization of his poor behaviour in front of the weyrleadership, O'sir's clarification on why he couldn't be allowed to impress after failing to meet expectations despite being provided with his final chance was the decoration on the bubbly pie. It both shattered the dream Oarlen had of being a rider alongside the ex candidate and renewed his sense to be a rider himself. dragonriders have to be there for eachother. That extended to the weyr. and the people in it... It extended to Colvin too... Even if he couldn't be a rider. He could be something else. Maybe Kya would let him have an egg? A wher would keep him safe just as good as a dragon would... not that that was important right there and then.

"I understand, O'sir." he answered, voice still small but with a ring of truth to it. Then, because he owed it to Colvin to try everything possible, but already knowing the answer, he added, "I wouldn't be able to give him my spot?"

It was the root of the reason he'd come to speak to O'sir, though the lack of logic in the idea hadn't really struck home until that point. Candidates couldn't just offer up their position to someone who hadn't been searched. The dragons decided who was worthy, and of them, the candidate master decided whether they'd make the cut. If you passed both tests, then you could still fail the third and final, and find yourself dragonless for the rest of your life.

Colvin might have had what it took to be a rider- had he been able to  overcome his tom foolery, he wouldn't have been searched otherwise... He'd just failed to meet the candidatemaster's scrutiny. Despite knowing, and understanding this, he still needed to ask the question. Needed to know he'd done everything to fix it, so that he could approach Colvin without guilt. The question held no weight, however, and O'sir may very well simply ignore it if he chose.  The conversation wouldn't last much longer regardless... And there were some chores he could still do despite his injuries.

Spoiler for tag:

Offline O'sir

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Re: Can we swap? [18/07/2590 | 4PM] || O'sir
« Reply #7 on: July 01, 2018, 03:13:39 PM »
At Oarlen’s question, he didn’t answer right away. O’sir didn’t think it was really a serious request—the tone of the boy’s voice, the sound of his resignation… He might have meant it when he’d first arrived, worried and reacting badly to the news. But the longer they’d talked, the more Oarlen had seemed to understand why he’d made the decision he did. Even if so many of his other students didn’t understand or didn’t agree, it brought a surprising amount of comfort to the Candidate Master that this one, at least, knew he hadn’t done it lightly.

Saibrasoth’s words from the Hatching returned to him then. He isn’t Lakymose. And no, he certainly wasn’t. That particular member of O’sir’s family had been dead for almost ten turns. Nevertheless, there were things about Oarlen that reminded him of his little brother. His earnestness, his honesty, his ability to believe the best of people even when they didn’t deserve it. Were O’sir a less measured man, or more prone to playing favorites, they might have been closer.

But that wasn’t especially appropriate. Nor was it his place.

“No,” he said at last, with the ghost of a sigh chasing the word from his mouth. “You know that’s not how it works.” It wasn’t a reprimand, and had no hint of harshness. Just weariness. Maybe a little bit of gentleness as he yet tried to soften something that he knew had disappointed and upset Oarlen deeply.

“Besides—” And then he was more serious again, more firm. “You’ll be a great rider some day. I won't take that from you for no reason.” O’sir firmly believed that, just as he had (and still did) of other Candidates that showed particular promise. He didn’t know when Oarlen would Impress, or to what kind of dragon, but the boy was too much like other good riders he had known to think he would never find one for him on the Sands.

That was not to say that those who weren’t riders were incapable of being good either. But Oarlen had been Searched for a reason, and O’sir didn’t think it was a mistake.

Offline Oarlen

Re: Can we swap? [18/07/2590 | 4PM] || O'sir
« Reply #8 on: August 02, 2018, 07:29:45 PM »
Oarlen sighed heavily as O'sir confirmed what he ultimately knew would be the case, letting his hands drop to his side and dropping his gaze as he tried to figure out if there was anything else he could try. Colvin couldn't be searched again, and he was sure there was an official process to stop candidates being re-instated... Particularly if O'sir hadn't suggested there was a way for it to happen. He understood somewhat that the behaviour Colvin exhibited would have been deadly had they still been in the middle of the past, and while the dangers now were still bad, they weren't quite the same.

Even as he digested the fallout for Colvin, Oarlen realised what else had been said, and once again he looked his candidatemaster in his eyes, the ghost of a grin curving his mouth. He knew that O'sir had to accept the candidates the searchdragons found, weeding out those who wouldn't be able to cope when and if required, but ultimately keeping a fair and unbiased approach to whenever was in his class. But that didn't mean the Candidatemaster had to believe all of them would become riders. Many of them would age out, withdraw voluntarily or - like Colvin - be told they were no longer suitable.

So for O'sir to make such a definitive statement brought a bit of light back to his face, momentarily forgetting the grief-like state Colvin's abandonment had caused since the news had broken. He stood up a little straighter then, trying not to wince as his healing injuries twinged with the motion. His face became almost comically serious as he held out a hand to O'sir, though the smile managed to break through as he spoke. "Thank you, Candidatemaster. I won't disappoint you."

It was overly formal, but he couldn't exactly squeal and leap onto the man for believing - no, knowing- that he would be a rider. Shaking hands seemed the most appropriate way to show his appreciation - and respect for the candidatemaster. He didn't even mind that O'sir didn't take a stab at what colour he'd get. He would very well go and share the sentiment with Cabryn, however, since the woman always seemed to have time for him and this was undeniably amazing news. Not that he'd thought he'd be left standing at all. He had plenty of time before that chance was gone. But it was always nice to have his hopes reinforced. Even if O'sir might not know how much it had meant to him.

"Thankyou for letting me ask you about Cole, as well, Sir. I ... " He was about to leave, but thinking about Colvin tended to cause the darker thoughts to swarm, and it would be apparent in the fall of his posture. "... I understand why. I'll make sure he's OK... and I'll make sure anyone who asks me about it understands too." His words were starting to run together, his confidence coming back as he focussed on addressing the rumours that had been swirling about the candidate barracks. Knowing that Colvin hadn't been dismissed for nothing as some were suggesting made it easier, and if he ever managed to catch up with the older boy, he'd be inclined to scold him from putting O'sir in such a position... maybe.

"I gotta go change some glows now... I'll be late if I stay here much longer." A grin, a proper grin as he waited long enough for O'sir to comment, or direct him elsewhere if need be before he was summoning Freckles to follow him, walking slowly, but not without purpose away from the classroom and towards his assigned area. It wasn't much in the way of helping the weyr, but it was something. And it certainly beat staying still in bed all day and night.

Spoiler for OOC:
Won't post with Oarlen again unless you post something lifechanging @SirAlahn so I'm happy for it to close with or without a response.

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